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You Might Be A Crew Chief if:

Author: Labeled by Line
Submitter:  Bob
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  1. You've ever slept on the concrete under a wing. (Clay Creel)

  2. You never go anywhere without your red and black pencils and your line badge,including church. (Clay Creel)

  3. You've ever wished your jet would drop a mk-84 on Saddam Hussein's house. (Clay Creel)

  4. You've ever said "oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that." (Clay Creel)

  5. You know what a pointy head is. (Clay Creel)

  6. You know what an R&I trailer is. (Clay Creel)

  7. You consider 'moly b' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. (Clay Creel)

  8. You've ever sucked lox to cure a hangover. (Clay Creel)

  9. You know what jet fuel tastes like. (Clay Creel)

  10. You've ever used a grease pencil to fix an overworn tire. (Clay Creel)

  11. You have a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron can supply you. (Clay Creel)

  12. You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a tooth pick. (Clay Creel)

  13. You've ever had to say "my boots are still black!" (Clay Creel)

  14. Someone has tackled you right before you cuss the squadron commander out over the radio. (Clay Creel)

  15. You refer to a pilot as a "control stick actuator." (Clay Creel)

  16. You've ever been duct taped to a towbar and dowsed with pet and sand. (Clay Creel)

  17. You've ever had your headset greased. (Clay Creel)

  18. You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash and a yard of flightline from support." (Clay Creel)

  19. You've ever worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn't flying the next day. (Clay Creel)

  20. You've ever said "as long as she starts every other try you'll be fine sir." (Clay Creel)

  21. You've ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a 3/4" wrench in the other. (Clay Creel)

  22. You have ever jumped an intake to get out of the cold. (Paul C. Boliou)

  23. Kitchen passes are hard to come by. (Paul C. Boliou)

  24. You have ever told your wife, "No dear, thats not beer you smell, its JP-8!" (Paul C. Boliou)

  25. You consider a TDY a paid vacation. (Wendell Best)

  26. The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch. (Wendell Best)

  27. You call the suspension on your car the main gear. (Wendell Best)

  28. You refer to your cars dashboard as the "glareshield" (Wendell Best).

  29. You give your wife an ETC of when the trash will be taken out. (Wendell Best)

  30. Leaving after eight hours makes you feel as if you have been cut back. (Wendell Best)

  31. Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house. (Paul C. Boliou)

  32. You have ever talked to your jet! (Clay Creel)

  33. Tossed some poor bug or creature into LOX! (Wendell Best)

  34. You can not spell! (Paul C. Boliou)

  35. You have ever passed gas in someone else's cockpit or crew station. (Clay Creel)

  36. You ever stopped work to watch Jerry Springer! (Paul C. Boliou)

  37. Only you can read your hand writting! (Paul C. Boliou)

  38. You know what F.B.I.T.A. means. (Sent in by "Ozzie" Osborn)

  39. Most of the tools in your garage are etched! (Paul C. Boliou)

  40. You have ever bought a new pair of boots rather than polishing your old ones! (Tom Shafer)

  41. You have ever stole screws from someone else's wingroots! (Paul C. Boliou)

  42. You have ever washed your hands before you pee. (Sent in by Thomas Gates)

  43. You have ever towed Jets around to match the board in MOC. (Dave Chamberlin)

  44. You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that OPS cancelled hours ago! (Dave Chamberlin)

  45. You have ever been hassled in MPF about 3510 after a 14 hour shift. (Dave Chamberlin)

  46. You believe your Jet has a soul. (Dave Chamberlin)

  47. You talk to your jet! (Dave Chamberlin)

  48. Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend airshows with you. (Dave Chamberlin)

  49. You have ever said, "That NAV light burned out after launch!" (Dave Chamberlin)

  50. You have ever used a chock as a hammer! (Dave Chamberlin)

  51. The only thing that you know about a city is where the good bars are. (Dave Chamberlin)

  52. You know more about your co-workers than you do your own family. (Dave Chamberlin)

  53. You have ever purposefully exposed yourself other than in the shower. (Dave Chamberlin)

  54. You do not know what the inside of a good dorm looks like. (Dave Chamberlin)

  55. The refrigerator in your dorm room is stocked only with beer! (Dave Chamberlin)

  56. You have ever looked for pictures of your Jet in Aviation magazines and books. (Dave Chamberlin)

  57. You know that you are the best Crew Chief in the USAF and your jet is the best in the fleet! (Dave Chamberlin)

  58. You hate people who know nothing about MX doing QVI's on your jet. (Dave Chamberlin)

  59. You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist! (Dave Chamberlin)

  60. You have ever been ticked off because they can not make up their minds on what the 781's should look like! (Dave Chamberlin)

  61. You have ever wished that the pilot would just say, "Great Jet, thanks Chief!" (Dave Chamberlin)

  62. You love to be called "Chief"! (Dave Chamberlin)

  63. You have ever passed gas in the expiditor truck just to clear it out. (Dave Chamberlin)

  64. You use the bathroom more often outdoors than indoors. (Dave Chamberlin)

  65. People who do not want to be Crew Chiefs and are sicken you! (Paul C. Boliou)

  66. You have ever had to shut a jet down in the middle of a launch just to change a Landing gear indication light in the back seat! (Paul C. Boliou)

  67. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. (Dave Chamberlin)

  68. Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments at the "club" (Dave Chamberlin)

  69. You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake. (Dave Chamberlin)

  70. You have ever asked another Crew Chief for a T.O. reference when signing off a task. (Dave Chamberlin)

  71. You have ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, "No more Nose Art." (Dave Chamberlin)

  72. The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist. (Dave Chamberlin)

  73. Most everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air. (Dave Chamberlin)

  74. You think that Crew Chiefs who can not hit the mark when parking a jet suck! (Dave Chamberlin)

  75. You know what a "Bite" is. (Dave Chamberlin)

  76. You have ever used a helmet for a pillow. (Dave Chamberlin)

  77. You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry. (Dave Chamberlin)

  78. You have eaten more MRE's than hot meals. (Dave Chamberlin)

  79. You have ever done the 100yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called. (Dave Chamberlin)

  80. You change underwear and T-shirts more than you change BDU's. (Dave Chamberlin)

  81. You have ever used Dykes to trim a fingernail. (Dave Chamberlin)

  82. You have ever used RTV to fix a stripped screw! (Dave Chamberlin)

  83. You have ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes. (Dave Chamberlin)

  84. You have ever started a jet inside the hanger! (Paul C. Boliou)

  85. You have ever wiped your hands on your pants. (Dave Chamberlin)

  86. You have ever made tampons out of spare towels for drain hole leaks. (Dave Chamberlin)

  87. You have ever knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole. (Dave Chamberlin)

  88. You have ever wiped leaks right before a crew show. (Dave Chamberlin)

  89. You have ever picked your nose. (Dave Chamberlin)

  90. You have ever puked more than two days in a row. (Dave Chamberlin)

  91. You have ever worn someone else's hat just to go to chow. (Dave Chamberlin)

  92. All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off. (Dave Chamberlin)

  93. You have ever hated Crew Chiefs that could not hack the line, got admin. jobs and were promoted. (Dave Chamberlin)

  94. You have ever pencil wipped your 623's. (Dave Chamberlin)

  95. You hate the fact that everyone else gets rides in your jet before you do. (Dave Chamberlin)

  96. You have ever been woke up by the returning drunks turning on the lights! (Dave Chamberlin)

  97. You have ever been that drunk turning on all the lights! (Dave Chamberlin)

  98. You have ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. (Dave Chamberlin)

  99. You have ever driven home and do not remember it. (Dave Chamberlin)

  100. You have ever gone straight to work from the bar. (Dave Chamberlin)

  101. Everyone you know has some kind of nickname. (Dave Chamberlin)

  102. You have ever got off work, rushed home took a shower and went out to the bar calling it a quick turn. (John Acquart)

  103. Used the "Pull Chocks" hand signal to tell your buddies it is time to leave the bar. (John Acquart)

  104. You have ever washed your hands with JP-8 after using B1/2! (John Acquart)

  105. You have ever rushed to get one last smoke while the horn is blowing! (John Acquart)

  106. You have ever bled Hydraulic fluid into a gatoraid bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys from support! (John Acquart)

  107. You consider a wheel chock, intake cover, and a sunshade on the flightline at Al Jaber a good recipe for a midday nap. (R. Schwartz)

  108. You HAVE to lace your chocks, or they will float away when you get the afternoon downpour. (R. Schwartz)

  109. You wished you could push the red pin back in, when a hydraulic filter overpressure pin pops out.(R. Schwartz)

  110. The pilot walks behind the jet, pisses on the concrete, then asks you to come look at this leak he found. (R. Schwartz)

  111. You consider your green coveralls to be your duty uniform, and don't bother with the BDUs underneath. (R. Schwartz)

  112. You have a collection of lenses, fasteners, bulbs and static dischargers in your glove box. (R. Schwartz)


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Joke updated on: 30 December 2005